Sadly, I have to say mine has been at times. About a week ago, I got into a really ugly place and just couldn't get out. I saw nothing but darkness and no end to my heart ache. Since then, I have realized several things.
First, we won't see the light or the fact that there is an end to our trial if we don't try to. I figured out while I was gone that I am a glass half empty kinda person and it came into place so quickly I didn't even notice it since I have been home. I don't want to be that person! I don't want to be the person who is fake either though and says "with God my life is great". I want to be real, able to admit when I am struggling but at the same time able to see that this to shall pass.
Second, I have thought that my life has just stopped because one of the three most important things in my life is now gone. BUT I know realize I am just having to get my priorities in check. Get the things in line that I know are for sure constant and never stop loving. These are my children and Christ.
Thank God for my kids, they are the only ones who can make me laugh right now when I am just in the depths of a bad day. They love me and at this point in life, the aren't leaving or judging. My goal is to keep their little hearts full of love and joy seeing that life is possible to be abundant through Christ. What I can control is me, my actions and my behavior nothing else. I will allow them to see love through me and that even on the bad days, we can run to our heavenly Father and say I can't do this but I know you can. Why do we ever doubt or try to do better than what God can?
So at the end of this week of searching, I have found that my faith should not change when my circumstances do. EVERYONE WILL eventually leave my children included. EVERYONE WILL let me down and I WILL let at some point let everyone down as well. What I know is consistant, is Christ and His love for me. I will choose Him and to seek His face in all of this because I know and believe that what He has for me in the end is so much more than I could have ever created for me and the kids. I will be faithful to what He has called me to do even when I don't understand.
We are called to trust Him absolutely, resting in His sovereignty and faithfulness.
About Me
- Andrea
- I am first and foremost a daughter of the King. A believer in miracles. A prime example of change. I am adored and loved by the one person who will NEVER stop loving me. I am humbled and grateful. More than anything though, I am awe-struck at my relationship with Christ and honored to serve Him as my Abba Father. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain at this point in my life.
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1 comment:
Keep blogging!
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